May 13th // Thoughts
How come when I became a teen, all I wanted was to be famous or something. I always wanted to be noticed? I wanted to go somewhere and live there. Obsessing over things that there's one in a million chances that will happen? Why do I always do that? Why do I always make up a whole new world, a whole new world that I wanted to be reality? Am I crazy? Maybe I am. It sucks to be like this. There's a one and a million chances that I would dance in a live show, in the television, a one and a million chances that I could affect other people's lives, that I would inspire them, make them laugh or smile. Maybe my problem is that I have no confidence to tell my family what I want cause I think that they'll just laugh at me, I think that I'll just bother them.
In my life, I always have "WHAT IFs." What if I'm not good enough, what if I'll just bother them, what if... what if... I fail. Another side of me kept on tellin me that, 'What if I took courage and accomplished my dream?' but that side always lose.
I'm that kind of person who loves laughing and making people smile when I don't even know how to start. I'm weird since I want to make people happy when I can't even make myself happy cause of lack of confidence.
Lookin back now, I can't believe how stupid I am to let two chances pass. First was I got to an audition but I got too nervous and I did a mess and anotger one was a talent scout found me and wanted me to model. I promise, right now, if ever I'm given an opportunity to reach that dream, without second thoughts, I'll say yes.
Is it a stupid dream? Haaaa! Reality check hurts the most. I wanna change. I want to have more confidence. I wanna make that dream come true. But to do that, I need confidence.
4ymys
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http://yuuki4ymys.blogspot.com
Awww :( I feel you, sometimes i feel the same way like you do.
ReplyDeleteI talked to myself, nothing will never happen if you make your dreams come true, just focus and don't let anyone ruin your day. Don't be shy, stand up for your dreams. Don't be afraid to tell your family what you really want to do. They will understand you my dear, you are their child. The most understanding people are our parents.
Opportunities passed by, I felt this before, the guilt of not noticing the opportunities came to me. Then one by one they were all gone. Then I said to myself, someday there will be an opportunity again, well when was the time I said that? It was 2years ago. But the opportunity to have work online didn't come to me anymore.
Well I hope you'll be confident enough to face what you really wanted.
Go for what you want, be confident always. :)
Deann - Thank you! Really thank you! I really can't put into words how much I thank you. I mean, it's good to hear that someone really feels how I feel. Ummm... I know that my parents are understandin' but I guess that I'm too shy. Really, thank you!
ReplyDeleteLovelotts, always :D